How to Prepare for Your First Therapy Session
Melissa Drabbant, MA, RCC, VITALITY COLLECTIVE
SURRY THERAPIST & REGISTERED CLINICAL COUNSELLOR
When I ask new clients how they are feeling about starting therapy, a common response is that they are unsure of what to expect. This is totally fair—especially if you are new to the therapeutic process altogether! Regardless of how much therapy you have or have not done, it is completely normal to feel emotions like nervousness, anxiety, fear, excitement, or relief. You may even feel a combination of all of these all at once! There is essentially no “right” way to do a first session. All you really can do is show up and try to be as open to the process as you are able. While trusting this process can be daunting, your therapist will be there to welcome you just as you are.
The Intake Process
While every therapist is different and has their preferences, there may be a few aspects of the intake process that align for most.
Your therapist may introduce themselves and explain their approach to therapy, to give you a better sense of who they are and how they work with clients.
Many therapists will go through key aspects of informed consent (the risks and benefits of therapy, limits to confidentiality, etc.). This leaves space for clients to bring up any questions they may have had when reviewing forms initially.
Some therapists use a more structured intake form, while others will gather information less formally. The questions you may be asked include, but are not limited to:
Previous counselling history
Reason(s) for seeking support
General health & wellness
Family history
Significant life events/experiences
Traumas experienced during childhood
Hopes and goals for therapy
Each therapist will navigate these sorts of questions in their own way. Sometimes clients can feel a bit raw when sharing. As therapists, we understand this, and we will likely slow things down to create space for the emotions coming up. Again, everyone’s first session will have its own flow and nuances!
How will it feel?
The first session can feel quite emotionally tender for some clients. For others, it may feel more conversational and less heavy. Pay attention to how you feel in the room and with the therapist. What is the connection between the two of you like? Are they really “getting” what you are sharing? Do they offer compassionate and validating responses? Does the environment feel safe and lack judgment? Are they giving unsolicited advice?
It is important to note, that sometimes one session with a therapist is not enough to get a feel for how therapy will go with them. However, if you are getting a strong sense in either direction, about it being a great fit or a not-so-great fit, it may be helpful to follow that inclination.
Do I even need therapy?
It is more than okay to be asking yourself this question before, during, and after your first session! Sometimes it can seem like our problems are not “big” enough for therapy. We compare our struggles to what others have experienced, and think: “Well, I didn’t have it that bad!” or “I remember having a great childhood!” But whatever your life has held, and whatever you are going through right now— your experience is valid, and it matters. You can trust the wisdom inside you that led to reaching out for support in the first place.
Clients seek therapy for many reasons: outside perspective about relationship difficulties, childhood trauma, challenging life transitions, self-worth issues, a safe space to experience uncomfortable emotions, etc. Therapy can be an ongoing process for some; for others, it may only be support during overwhelming seasons of life. Again, there is no one right way to “do” therapy. This process gets to be about you. Together, you and your therapist will create a dynamic of safety and trust to gain a greater understanding of yourself and process what is impacting you.
What if it’s not a “good fit”?
The reality is that not every therapist is a good fit for every client. We know this, and honestly, we are not offended! We recognize that you finding the best fit to support your needs and goals is imperative for your growth journey. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and there are various frameworks of therapy. Do not be afraid to ask the therapist about how their approach will support you with the outcomes you are hoping for. If you find that you are indeed looking for something else, you can let the therapist know. They will then initiate the process of referral, which will hopefully lead to someone who fits in the way you need.
A note to leave you with:
As therapists, we are here to hold space for you, as you gain self-understanding and navigate the ups and downs of this beautiful, messy life. So, whatever you are bringing to your first therapy session, we want you to know that it is welcome and that will be attended to with great care.