What we're reading - June 1, 2020
Have you ever had to learn a lesson in life that took multiple times to actually get it through your thick skull? Or is it just me?
I seem to have things thrown in my face AT LEAST three times before I actually go “huh…maybe I should change the way that I am doing this”.
The latest lesson for me…the concept of slowing down.
I have always been the one who gets shit done. If my family is going to have a social life, I’m the one that’s getting people together. If we are going to start a project at home, I’m the one that’s planning it out.
This is a positive trait. It’s got me a lot of really good things, including some really great people to work alongside here at Vitality Collective.
It’s also created a sense of busyness, or a need to do things quickly so that I can do all of the things, whether that is work- or home-related.
There have been a number of times where I have realized the need to slow down. And I’ve been trying. Sometimes half-heartedly.
And then COVID-19 happened.
I fought slowing down for a few weeks – mostly out of fear, but also because it provided me with a sense of comfort to stay busy and have something that I could control in an out of control world. And then I started to realize I couldn’t maintain the stress of it all if I didn’t slow down.
I started a 30-day self-care challenge on my Instagram page. I thought it would encourage people who follow me, but honestly, I think it had more of an effect on me than my followers. I wanted to be authentic in the challenge, so was doing them each day too.
And then I heard about and started listening to, the book “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” by John Mark Corner. I discovered it at perfect timing for me and my need to slow life down while still accomplishing things and being productive.
The concepts that he talks about aren’t new to me as a therapist. He talks about meditation, mindfulness, slowing down your pace of life, and spending time alone. These are all things that I tell my clients daily. And yet I need to hear them from someone else in order to really have them sink in for how I can practically implement them in my own life.
For this article, I wanted to share some of my takeaways from the book with you, in hopes that it would encourage you to discover some ways that you might be able to slow down in life. It might also encourage you to read the book for yourself. While I appreciated the faith perspective this book provided, I did want to give you a heads up in case that’s not something you enjoy. In that case, hopefully you can glean from this article. And if you have a book that you’ve really enjoyed that encouraged you to slow down, please let me know. I’d love to read it!
Some of these tips are directly from what I heard in the book, and others are as a result of what I heard, and then have adapted them for myself and for sharing with you.
1. Implement one “no workday” in your week.
In the book, he calls it a Sabbath. Some people call it Sunday Funday or Self-Care Saturday. Whatever you want to call it, or whatever day actually works for you, the way that I’m trying to implement this, is that every Sunday I am not doing any work at all. And I don’t just mean my business work. I have decided that I’m not going to clean my house, do grocery shopping, or busy things. It’s been REALLY hard, and even as I write this I realize that this week I’ll be working on a project that has a deadline for our house, but I chose that project, and it brings me pleasure. We use this day to socialize with friends a family, sit in our backyard and just be, and spend time being bored. This has been my favourite step so far.
2. Get outside.
I got a dog for our family last November, and if you have a dog, you know that they have to be walked. Quite often that becomes a task for me. Something that I want to serve three purposes – get the dog to do her business, have her get some energy out, and provide me with some exercise. And yet as a result of reading this book, and being stuck without socializing during the first part of COVID-19, I have begun to relish in the opportunity to get outside. There’s something calming about getting out of the house, noticing all of the colours around us in the trees and various bushes, hearing birds sing, and seeing other people out on their own walks. You get the opportunity to connect with nature, pay attention to what’s going on inside, and just breathe. Also, if you read Cesar Milan at all, he talks about how when you take a dog out for a walk half of the fun is slowing down and letting them explore all of the sights and sounds and smells around them – guess it makes sense for humans to do the same eh?
3. Turn off your phone.
So if I’m being totally honest, this is by far the hardest act for me. So I’m taking baby steps. I’ve taken my email program and Facebook off of my phone and iPad. I also make it a point to put my phone in another room of the house after 7:00 pm. My ultimate goal is to leave my phone downstairs at night so it’s not the first thing I reach for in the morning, but these steps have definitely helped minimize the time on my phone or the supposed need for it.
4. Put specific times in the calendar for self-care.
Making something visual can often be the biggest step towards making a goal a reality. So I’ve started putting blocks on time in my work calendar. These blocks are for specific tasks I want to get done, projects that need concentrated time, and then making sure I have more than a 10 minute break between clients to eat my dinner. This helps me remember my goal of slowing down, and it makes me purposeful in taking care of myself even if it is around work.
5. Start your morning off right.
One of the reasons that I still have my phone by my bed is that I use it in the morning to do a devotional and read my Bible (most days). I then think through what my day is going to be like, and take note of what needs to get done, what could get done, and what would be nice to get done. Some people start their morning by meditation. Taking some time to breathe first thing in the morning can help you slow down your day because you’re not rushing off the minute that you wake up, or super-charging your morning by reading through all of the emails of tasks that other people want you to do.
There are many different ways that you can take care of yourself and slow down your lifestyle. I know this list isn’t exhaustive. I also know I’m only scratching the surface of what this book shares. My hope is that it gets you thinking and inspires you to take at least one step towards slowing your pace of life down so that you can enjoy it rather than just get through it.
If the coronavirus has also brought about a resolution to slow down your pace of life, I’d be interested to know what steps you’re taking to do that. Send me a quick email and fill me in. Or comment below about what has worked for you. Your tips might help someone else.
And if slowing down has caused you to reflect on other things that you need/want to change in your life and you’d like to have a counsellor’s help with that, please reach out to us at info@vitalitycollective.ca We’d really like to help match you with a counsellor that can help you reach your goals for a more fulfilled life and take you from striving to thriving.
Written by Lisa Catallo, MA, RCC and Director at Vitality Collective