The Healing Power of Pets: How our Relationships with Animals Impact our Well-Being
KATE MALONE, RCC, VITALITY COLLECTIVE
VANCOUVER THERAPIST & REGISTERED CLINICAL COUNSELLOR
If you are an animal lover, you have likely felt the deep love and connection that pets can bring into your life. Pets provide us with comfort, love, companionship, and overall meaningful relationships. Studies show that pet relationships contribute to our mental health and well-being.
What are some of the ways that animals can improve our mental health?
● Offer structure, routine, and exercise: Pets need consistent care, and so do we although we might not always be the best at giving it to ourselves. Caring for a pet can give our days a sense of purpose and encourage us to get moving, like waking up in the morning or going for a walk.
● Help us connect with others: Whether our pets are just a fun and light topic of conversation, or prompt us to chat with a neighbour, they can help us develop a sense of community with those around us.
● Reduce anxiety: The presence of animals has been shown to have an anxiety-reducing effect, and many people find that playing with or petting an animal helps to calm them in times of stress.
● Offer opportunities for play: As children, we know the inherent joy of playing, but as adults, we often feel like we aren’t allowed to any more! Pets know the benefits of play - and offer us opportunities to be silly and have fun.
● Modelling mindfulness and self-care: Have you ever just observed your pet and how they go about their day? Pets aren’t worried about what others think, or what they need to do tomorrow. They live completely in the moment, listening to their bodily cues when they are hungry, want a nap, or when need some alone time. We have much to
learn from our animal companions, and they even remind us to rest when they decide it's time to cuddle!
● Attachment relationship: Studies show that our connections to pets may have qualities of attachment relationships - safe and secure bonds that are integral for us to thrive.
Pets and Emotional Safety
While relationships and connection are central to our well-being and happiness, many individuals struggle to feel completely safe with other people. Have you ever felt that you can’t share something difficult going on in your life for fear of oversharing? Or have you ever worried you might be judged by others if you show your true self? Perhaps your relationships often feel strained and like a source of stress rather than comfort. You are not alone!
For many individuals, human relationships are complex. Animals can offer an alternative source of love and connection. Animals have qualities that allow humans to feel safe, making them the perfect companions. Especially for individuals who have experienced trauma or significant attachment wounds, pets can be a source of unconditional love that might not come easily from people.
Why do we feel safe with animals?
● Attunement and caregiving: There is evidence that animals like horses, dogs, and cats can read human emotional cues and have the desire to provide comfort when they sense we are in distress. Some studies have suggested that dogs can even sense human emotions through licking!
● Nonverbal communication: Unlike verbal communication, body language cannot lie. Human-animal communication is straightforward, and when we feel love and care from an animal, there is no doubt in our minds if it is genuine.
● Authenticity: With animals, there is never an incongruence between their behaviours and what they are feeling or sensing in the moment. If a cat is not happy with being touched, they will let you know (boundaries!) and that helps us to trust that they are authentic when they do show their affection.
● Non-judgment: Animals do not judge us in the same way that humans can. When interacting with animals, we don’t need to fit in or be perceived in a certain way. This gives us the freedom to be ourselves and be more open with our furry friends.
● Unconditional love: Many pet owners feel that their pets love them unconditionally, no matter their mood, whether they look a certain way, or whether they were productive that day. Animals accept us as we are!
Pet loss
Losing a pet can be just as painful an experience as losing a human family member or friend. Especially for individuals whose safest relationships are with pets, the end of a pet's life can be a powerful experience of grief.
Unfortunately, losing a pet is often not recognized by society as a significant loss, resulting in disenfranchised grief. This can be painful for someone who is grieving the loss of their pet and not getting the same kind of support or validation that someone might when losing a human loved one.
If you are struggling with losing a pet, know that your pain is real and valid. Consider talking to an animal-loving friend who might better understand your experience. Reach out to a qualified therapist who can help you to feel less alone and process your grief.
What if I love animals but I don’t have a pet?
There are many reasons that individuals may not be in a situation to have pets of their own. Animal lovers can still harness the healing power of animals through metaphor, visualizations, and meaning-making of their relationships with animals. Try this exercise below to explore how you feel in the presence of animals.
Exercise - A Safe Companion
Begin by placing your feet on the floor and bringing awareness to your body. Take a moment to notice your breathing, feel your feet on the floor. Scan your mind for an animal that stands out as important in your life. This animal should give you a sense of trust, safety, support, reliability, understanding, and presence. This animal could be a pet – past or present, an animal from TV or a book, or another animal you have encountered in your life. Picture, in your mind’s eye, this animal beside you. Spend some time noticing what happens when you imagine this animal here. Ask yourself these questions:
● What sensations do you notice in your body?
● Do you notice any relaxation or tension?
● What do you notice about your breathing?
● Do you notice any emotions arising as you imagine this animal with you?
● If it feels right, imagine hugging, petting, or talking to this imagined animal companion. What happens when doing that?
If you are curious about exploring your relationships with animals, book a session with a therapist who is knowledgeable about the human-animal bond.
Sources
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/p/pets-and-mental-health
Malone, K. (2021). Relational Healing Through Animals: The Human-Animal Bond Therapist Toolkit.
https://www.theralphsite.com/index.php?idPage=91