New Year’s Resolutions: Exploring and Creating Goals for the Year Ahead
ASHLEY HEWER, MA, RCC - VITALITY COLLECTIVE CLINICAL COUNSELLOR
January is upon us and it is often the time to set New Year resolutions.
Chances are you have set resolutions in the past and not been successful- I know I have. New years resolutions are notoriously hard to follow through for multiple reasons. The good news is achieving our goals can start with a shift in how we are thinking about them and the way we talk to ourselves about our goals.
First, I like to shift away from the term resolution.
If you look up the definition of resolution in the Oxford Dictionary it states that a resolution is “a definite decision to do or not to do something”. This does not leave room for a lot of flexibility it creates an all-or-nothing mindset which can lead to a lot of negative self-talk if we stray from the original plan. A goal on the other hand is defined by Oxford Dictionary as “something you hope to achieve”. This definition allows for more flexibility, it is more well-rounded as there are many ways to achieve goals. It creates freedom from all-or-nothing thinking and allows us to re-evaluate what is working and what isn’t.
The second is creating a goal that is important to you, that has meaning for you.
Common goals set in the new year are to be healthy, lose weight, pay off debt or save money. Are you setting these goals because you think you should or because it is what you want? Goal setting will be more successful if we know why we want something. This involves diving a little deeper to create our super meaning or super why. For example, if your goal is to exercise more what is your hope? Perhaps it's to be stronger or maybe you want to increase your stamina so you can do the Grouse Grind in the Spring, maybe it's important because you want to be able to keep up with your kids or your grandkids. These bigger meanings are what helps to keep us motivated.
The third is to create a tentative plan for yourself…
make it specific, measurable, realistic, and within a reasonable time frame. Is it realistic for you to never have an unhealthy meal or to walk every day for an hour? Try starting off slower this creates little wins and these wins help keep us motivated to keep going and give us more confidence in achieving our goals. The more specific the easier it will be statements like I want to go for a 20-minute walk after dinner 3 times a week. Check-in with yourself, what worked this week, what didn’t and reflect on what can be adjusted. Maybe after a few weeks, you can increase exercise time. Remember it takes time to create new habits and we don’t always know what is going to work, and we need to have the flexibility and allow ourselves the space to revise the plan.
Other ways to improve your success around achieving your goals include having an accountability partner. Sharing your goals with your loved ones, friends, co-workers, can help you be more successful. You do not need to have the same goal to help each other be accountable. Try and make it fun or don’t let the goal deter you from having fun. Be kind to yourself. Unexpected things happen in life and things don’t always go as planned. If you find this is the case on a regular basis it might be time to review your goal and your approach to it. If it happens a few times don’t get discouraged focus on what you are able to do rather than what you were not able to do.
Not sure where to start on your goal planning journey?
That’s okay! You can still create a vision for your year. Consider doing a vision board, this can be done in a classic cut and paste way, or on Pinterest. Find images, words, phrases, that you want to bring into your life this year. Cut and paste them onto a board or save them on a specific imageboard on Pinterest. Put it in a place that is visible to you daily as a reminder that this is what you want.
Consider doing the “Wheel of Life” exercise. This looks at your satisfaction level in 8 different areas of your life: Career, Finances, Health, Friends & Family, Love & Romance, Personal Development, Fun & Relaxation, and Personal and Spiritual Growth. It can also be helpful to rate how important each of the areas is to you currently. This exercise can help provide some guidance on what you might want to focus on this year.
Keep these helpful tips handy to help you set and achieve your goals.
Have self-compassion, be kind to yourself, creating new habits is hard and it takes time.
Create goals that are meaningful to you.
Break larger goals down into smaller increments.
Share your goals with others and support each other.
Goals can be set at any time of the year
Achieving goals may be hard, but it should be enjoyable.
If you find yourself in a place where you are not sure where to start or your goal is to explore your mental and emotional health, consider connecting with a therapist. Connecting with a therapist can provide support around goal setting, life purpose, exploring behaviours and habits, and support around mental and emotional health.