How To Practice Mindfulness
KATE MALONE, RCC, VITALITY COLLECTIVE
VANCOUVER THERAPIST & REGISTERED CLINICAL COUNSELLOR
Maya can’t sleep.
She is tossing and turning, thinking about how tired she will be in the morning, how few hours she has left until her alarm goes off. Her thoughts go round and round, worrying about the stress of the next day. She opens her phone, scrolling her social media, trying not to think about her situation. The more she worries the more awake she feels. She begins to feel doomed. “This is so awful. Why is this happening again? What’s wrong with me that I can’t just sleep!”
Sound familiar? Let’s look at an alternative ending for Maya’s sleepless night.
She is tossing and turning, those thoughts begin to creep in about how tired she will be, how awful this is. In this version, Maya pauses here. She takes a moment just to notice what is happening for her, right here, right now. She notices the negative thoughts, worries that aren’t helping her sleep. She notices her body tensing up, her jaw is clenched, responding to the stressful thoughts that are present. She decides to take a deep breath, relaxes her muscles, and let go of the spiralling thoughts. “Okay, this sucks that I can’t sleep. But I can still lie here and try to get some rest, let my body relax. There is nothing more I can do right now.”
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the practice of cultivating present-moment awareness. Rooted in Buddhist and Hindu philosophy, the ideas behind mindfulness have existed for thousands of years and have more recently become popular in the West, including in therapy practice.
It is human nature to live on autopilot, reacting unconsciously to things happening in our lives. The problem with that way of living is that often we react to difficult experiences with strategies that end up making us feel worse. Thinking things through turns into ruminating on a problem for hours. We distract ourselves with TV when we have an unpleasant task to do, but later feel worse that we spent the day procrastinating. We don’t like the fact that we are feeling down, so we turn to self-criticism, telling ourselves we should be able to snap out of it. The practise of mindfulness is to pause in these moments of distress, to just be present with our experience, rather than solving it, judging it, or avoiding it.
In Maya’s example above, you saw how mindfulness can help us to get through a difficult experience without making it harder for ourselves. First, she paused and noticed what was happening in her mind and body. Next, she used her breath to calm herself, and her body was then able to relax. She stopped the cycle of negative thinking that otherwise could have kept her up all night. While she still lost sleep, by using the tools of mindfulness, she was able to stop herself from making a bad situation worse!
When mindfulness is practiced regularly, we can start to recognize the patterns of the mind that happen when we’re on autopilot. Rather than reacting, we begin to create the space to first notice what thoughts, emotions, or sensations are going on inside, giving us more insight to how we might want to best respond to a situation instead. And the more we practice mindfulness intentionally, the more our brains become wired to pause and breathe before reacting. This alone can be a powerful change in our lives.
What can mindfulness help with?
Mindfulness can be a valuable tool for those struggling with mental health issues.
It is important to note that mindfulness is not a one size fits all solution. At times, turning our awareness inside can feel overwhelming and increase distress. If you find that mindfulness is difficult for you, seek out help from a mental health professional who practices a mindfulness-based approach to guide you along the way.
Anxiety and depression
Research has shown that mindfulness can reduce anxiety and depression. Both anxiety and depression are fueled by cycles of rumination and worrying about the future and past. Mindfulness offers a tool to step out of that cycle, to see things from a different perspective and come back to the present moment.
Emotion regulation
Mindfulness encourages us not to avoid or react to emotions, but to fully experience them. Emotions come in waves, so while they may seem overwhelming, often we can ride them and feel relief once they pass. Mindfulness practice includes turning awareness to the bodily sensations that accompany emotions, noticing their presence without judgement, and learning that they ebb and flow over time.
Relationships
Mindfulness can do wonders for building healthy relationships. When we are in conflict, stress levels are high. This means we are often operating on the defensive, reacting rather than responding. Being mindful in relationships means we can notice when we need to take a break to regulate ourselves. We can be more present for the other person’s experience, and we can grow awareness of our own patterns of thinking and acting.
How can I start to practice Mindfulness?
Mindfulness uses some form of anchor to the present moment – through breath, the five senses, or movement and body awareness. Trying out different forms of mindfulness practice can help you to find what will work best for you. Here are the basic steps to beginning a mindfulness practice using the breath:
1. Pick a time of day to practice. This will make it easier for you to stay consistent.
2. Find a quiet and comfortable area where you can spend 5-10 minutes to yourself without distraction.
3. Observe the present moment. Bring your attention to the present and the sensation of breathing. The breath is your anchor – a reference point to return to.
4. Follow the breath. Simply follow your breath, sensing the rise and fall of your belly as you inhale and exhale.
5. Notice distractions. It is natural for the mind to wander. When it does, simply notice this and any feelings or sensations that occur.
6. Practice non-judgement. When the mind does wander, do your best to simply bring your attention back to the present, without judging yourself.
(from mindfulnessexercises.com)
How can I learn more about Mindfulness?
Online. Mindfulness has become so popular that there are countless apps, Youtube channels, and websites full of free content to get you started on your mindfulness journey.
Workbooks and groups. There are guided mindfulness programs for things like anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and self-compassion, offered through support groups as well as self-guided workbooks.
Work with a therapist. Several different therapy modalities incorporate mindfulness. This includes Mindfulness-based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Self-Compassion Therapy, as well as somatic therapies. A therapist can help guide you if you are interested in exploring mindfulness.
Sources:
https://www.anxiety.org/can-mindfulness-help-reduce-anxiety
https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/mindfulness
https://mindfulnessexercises.com/8-mindfulness-exercises-for-beginners/