Self-Care: It's Not All Bubble Baths, Meditation and Yoga
ASHLEY HEWER, MA, RCC - VITALITY COLLECTIVE CLINICAL COUNSELLOR (SURREY, BC)
The emphasis on self-care in the last 10 years has really increased…
So much so that it has become a common job interview question in some sectors, but what does it really mean? Self-care is the act of doing something that allows us to maintain good health and increase our overall well-being. A common theme I often hear from clients and friends about self-care is that they don’t have time, I have even said it to myself on multiple occasions.
Social media often portrays people engaging in self-care activities that involve leaving the house, that require a membership to a fitness or yoga space, or that wine in a bubble bath is what self-care looks like. However, if you have a family or are working multiple jobs or juggling school and work commitments while trying to have some sense of a social life with family and friends you might not be able to do these things on daily basis. The idea that we have to fit everything in increases our stress levels and can increase or lead to anxiety and depression. In turn, making it even harder for us to feel motivated to take some time for ourselves. The good news is there is a high chance you are already doing some self-care-related things in your day-to-day life.
Self-Care can be broken down into 5 different areas of our lives:
Physical self-care looks at taking care of our physical health needs. This can include getting some form of exercise, eating on a regular basis and choosing healthy foods & snacks, attending preventative medical appointments (Dental, Medical, Massage, Physiotherapy, Chiropractor etc), and wearing clothes that make you feel good, taking care of personal hygiene. That’s right brushing your teeth is self-care!
Psychological/Emotional Self Care. This looks at taking care of your mental health & wellness needs. Connecting with a therapist, or family and friends to talk about your problems, celebrating your achievements and strengths, taking a break away from your phone or email, doing something comforting like watching a favourite movie or reading a book, and my two favourites listening to music and finding a reason to laugh. Perhaps on your commute to and from work or school, you listened to some music or an audiobook, maybe a podcast that made you laugh.
Social Self-Care. This area of self-care looks different for everyone. For some people, it's about seeking out interactions with others because this energizes them, for others, it's remembering that it's okay to say no to social events if we are feeling drained. Most importantly it's about connecting with people you like, that share common interests and values. Perhaps for busy families, this might be dinner once a week together with no electronic devices. It can also be using your commute home to chat to a friend on the phone or finding a friend who also wants to engage in the same physical, or spiritual self-care activity as you (two self-care things at one time is a bonus!)
Professional Self-Care focuses on how we are taking care of ourselves in our work or school environment. It can include making sure you are taking your breaks, or not scheduling your classes back-to-back. Taking breaks can increase productivity and reduce the risks of injury. It allows us to eat some food, stretch, move around, or for those who have physical jobs, it gives the body a break to rest. Participating in social activities at work, eating lunch with colleagues, or being part of the social planning group. Learning new things related to work or school and making sure those things are interesting and meaningful to you.
Spiritual Self-Care. This varies from person to person depending on spiritual or religious beliefs, one may engage in prayer or meditation or attend religious services during the week. Others may consider time in nature or consider what creates meaning in their lives and gives space to recognize that. Other people may choose to be involved in community groups or causes that are important to them.
I am a big believer that self-care should not be stressful its something that we are doing to help us manage the stress in our lives. At times it might be challenging, we may be asking ourselves some tough questions, or working with a counsellor or a therapist to address a variety of concerns that are impacting our daily life.
If you find yourself in a position where you are feeling guilty for not making the time, or not being able to find the time in a day where the unexpected happened, find a reason to laugh or smile, call a friend, or eat some food and brush your teeth. Chances are you have already one of those things today. Just because you may have done something forever, don’t discount the value of it as self-care. Consider your day-to-day life, what acts of self-care are you already engaging in without realizing it?
If you find yourself struggling to navigate self-care please reach out to friends, family, or a registered clinical counsellor. We all need support sometimes and asking for help is always a great way to practice self-care.
Keywords: Counselling; Therapy; Counselling in Surrey; Self-care; Well-being; Stress management; anxiety; depression