COVID-19 and the Great Existential Crisis
If there was ever a time for an existential crisis, this might be it.
COVID-19.
Just the name evokes so much emotion and so many different kinds of reactions that I hardly know where to begin. It has pretty effectively turned our world upside-down. The pandemic is everywhere. Everyone in the world is being impacted, but all in our own unique ways. The first thing I want to do is normalize that there is no normal.
Maybe you’re worried about getting sick, or about your loved ones getting sick. Maybe you’re worried about your job or your finances. Maybe you’re sad or lonely as a result of social distancing. Maybe your trauma responses are being triggered and you find yourself flooded with anxiety. Maybe you’re mad, confused, lacking energy, having trouble focusing. Maybe you’re feeling a combination of many of these things. Whatever you’re feeling, you’re not alone in having big feelings about COVID-19.
This pandemic has changed so much about how we engage with the world and the people around us, that it can feel like too much to process all at once. As an existential therapist, I thought I’d try to break down some of the things that might be going on for you in an effort to make things feel a little less jumbled in your head, and maybe even a little more hopeful.
Alfried Längle, an Austrian psychotherapist and developer of the psychotherapeutic approach called existential analysis, offers us a way of looking at life through four conditions that are necessary for a fulfilled existence.* He calls these conditions our fundamental motivations (FMs). Don’t worry, I’m not going to get too technical! Each of the four FMs asks us a question about what it’s like to be alive, and I find that these are all extremely germane to the current COVID-19 situation we are all facing. So, let’s take a look.
FM 1. Can you live under these conditions?
This is a big one! This is where all our fears and anxiety come into play. Back in the spring, life turned to us and said, “Hey, this is the way things are going to be for now. I don’t know how long, not forever, but probably quite a while. Things are going to be awkward and clumsy, maybe kind of scary, definitely filled with tons of uncertainty. So, basically, I’m wondering, are you cool with that?”
If that’s not a tough question, I don’t know what is.
Your automatic reaction might have been, “Of course I’m not cool with that! I hate this!” And that’s fair. Not many people (if any people!) are actually enjoying this pandemic. But this question is really more about acceptance than liking. The truth is, we can get through things without enjoying them. So, do we have what we need to get through COVID-19? Does our existence feel threatened, or just inconvenienced? Our answer to this may change daily, or even hourly. But anytime we answer no, we have a chance to look at what changes we can make, or what help we can ask for. Does the virus itself bring to mind fears about our own death, or about losing loved ones? Do we feel we can keep ourselves safe? Do we have a job, or enough money right now? Do we have supportive people in our life, or are we living in isolation with people who make us feel unsafe? Are we living in constant fear of the unknown?
The anxiety we feel in the face of threats or lack of support can seriously hinder our ability to feel like we can get through this. What we need to counter these impacts is support. Leaning on our loved ones, making a counselling appointment, using our coping skills, reaching out for resources available (especially financial) to us at this time.
FM 2. Do you like to be alive given the current circumstances?
There are some aspects of COVID-19 that could be considered silver linings. Perhaps some of us appreciate the opportunity to slow down and spend more time with our families—though this could be highly unpleasant or even threatening to others. Even if you’ve been finding the good in the pandemic, it’s still likely that you’ve been experiencing negative aspects as well. COVID-19 has robbed us of a lot of life’s simple joys, and even some of the big ones. An important part of liking life is based on our relationships. It is through our relationships (to our self, our friends and loved ones, our pets, nature) that we can tap into the force of life and truly feel alive. All the social distancing measures we have to live by right now make relationships difficult. And isolation can very easily lead to a loss of our connection to life. When life doesn’t feel worth living, we feel depressed, and depression can be a hard hole to climb out of. But not impossible!
As much as we can right now, we need to do what brings us joy and to stay connected to our most valuable relationships. We can get outside and commune with nature. We can phone, text, video chat, exchange letters with our favourite people. We can meet with our therapist. We can journal, read books, watch movies, do what it takes to slowly get life flowing through us again.
FM 3. Can you be yourself?
One of our most important relationships is the one we have with ourselves. There are a lot of things that can interfere with this relationship. Maybe we’ve never fully had the opportunity to get to know our self, so we don’t really know if we are living as our authentic self or not. Or maybe someone or something is stopping us from truly being our self.
COVID-19 has certainly introduced a lot of restrictions into our lives. Maybe some of these restrictions are actually blocking you from being your full self. Maybe you can’t be yourself around the people who are in your social distancing bubble. Maybe being cut off from the people you do feel yourself around is making you feel less than whole. Maybe you aren’t able to do your job right now, or your favourite hobbies, and it’s putting you in a funk. Without these things, people, and freedoms, who are you? That’s a pretty big question! When big changes happen in our life it often leaves us feeling out of sorts and wondering who we are now in the midst of all this change. COVID-19 could easily be one of those times for you. This may be an opportunity for self-reflection—a time to figure out who you are and what you need in order to be able to live authentically. Yes, even in the midst of a pandemic! We need to be in a good relationship with ourselves now more than ever.
FM 4. For what are you living?
Purpose and direction. We all need a reason to get up in the morning—something that makes us feel as though we’re living for a reason, contributing in some way, are a part of something bigger than ourselves. Finding meaning and direction in our lives is no easy feat, which makes it all the more upsetting when it is ripped from us. As a result of COVID-19, there have been both big and small things that may have left you spinning your tires without much sense of direction at all. So many of our regular routines have disappeared. The sense of structure we once felt in our days and weeks has crumbled. Working from home or not working at all can leave us feeling like we’re floating in a pool in which time is essentially irrelevant. Does your life feel like it’s on pause? Or maybe even come right off the rails? Are you having trouble imagining the future? Are you feeling unmotivated?
All of this is to be expected. COVID-19 came into our lives and shook everything loose. Now we have to survey the damage and begin to rebuild our sense of purpose in life. This is a lot to ask. So, the one-step-at-a-time approach is crucial here. Maybe start by implementing small and healthy routines back into your life—like going for a walk in the evenings, or trying one new recipe a week. Slowly and steadily work to restore normalcy, or maybe even a new normal to your life. Be patient with yourself, and reach out for help often. We all need each other.
Here’s the Hope
This is a lot to contend with, and it’s not tidy, either. Even though these questions may feel sequential, they are not necessarily. You may be struggling with some and not others. And the ones you struggle with may change or bounce back and forth. You may even find that your experiences with the pandemic overlap a few of these questions, and it’s not so clearly just one or the other. What’s important about these questions is that they help us take a look at the big picture—the four crucial aspects of life. And there’s a good chance that COVID-19 is interfering with at least one of them for you. Maybe all four. So, if you’re wondering why you’re struggling so much with the pandemic, this is why. The impacts of COVID-19 are huge and can feel all-encompassing.
No, you shouldn’t have gotten used to it by now, or bounced back, or started thriving. If you’re feeling okay, that’s great. But if you’re stuck in an anxiety-filled depressing COVID-19 whirlwind, take a step back. Take a deep breath and start to notice how your life is being impacted specifically. Are you living in fear, are you sad and disconnected, are you struggling to feel like yourself, are you feeling directionless? There is help and hope for all of this. The first step is to call it out. We’re all in the midst of an existential crisis, and it’s time to normalize this—time to talk about it out loud. The COVID-19 pandemic will end, and life will return to something akin to normal. Until then, we can turn to each other for support, sit in reflection, and take baby steps toward the future we want to live.
Längle, A. (2003). The search for meaning in life and the existential fundamental motivations. Psychotherapy in Australia, 10(1), 22-27.
Venessa Bork, MA, CCC is the author of this article and she specializes in existential therapy as well as many other areas. If you would like help in this area click here to get in contact with us.