Graduation - Who am I and what am I doing?
ASHLEY HEWER, MA, RCC - VITALITY COLLECTIVE CLINICAL COUNSELLOR
We all go through life transitions, and although most are exciting, they are also change and change is hard.
Life transitions often mean a shift in the way we view ourselves and the way others view us. Self-identity is a combination of personality traits, abilities, physical attributes, interests, hobbies, and social roles that a person uses to describe themselves. When something shifts in our lives, we can feel like something is missing even if we have also gained something.
Whether you are graduating from high school or university you may be wondering what am I doing, and what happens next? For a long time, being a student was part of your identity, your friends were centred around school, and extracurricular activities and social activities were with people in your community. For some people, the title of student can feel like a safety net. For others, they can’t wait to be done with school. Either way, you look at it graduation is a big change. Maybe you are moving to university or moving for a job after university. Maybe you don’t know what you want to do after high school, or what career path you want to take after university and that’s okay. The thought of saying goodbye to friends, and maybe your family can be really hard.
It may seem like everyone around you has it all figured out except for you but you’re not alone.
As you enter a new chapter in your life everything you will experience is new and you haven’t navigated it before. There will be an adjustment period and you will continue to learn as you go. I encourage you to reflect on feelings you had during previous life transitions. Perhaps, it's how you felt as you shifted from elementary school to high school, or maybe you moved when you were younger what was that experience like? Try shifting the fear of what’s next to asking yourself who you want to be in this world, or shift your focus to things that haven’t changed, you still have things that make you uniquely you.
Our personal values, interests and hobbies can help during life transitions like graduation. What is really important to you? Do you want to travel? Is there a subject you are passionate about? Asking ourselves these questions can help us think about our future, and what our future goals are. Maybe you want to work for a few years while you consider your options around post-secondary education, or maybe you want to travel and experience different cultures after university before the demands of a career. You will find your place just be willing to explore.
Not everything needs to change at once.
For example, if you played a sport all through elementary school and high school, look for community teams to join and continue having it throughout life stages. Hobbies are something we enjoy doing, something we look forward to, and they act as a coping mechanism for negative emotions like stress, anxiety, and depression. If you need to move to a different city or province, finding similar interest groups in your area can help you establish new friendships and community connections where you know you already have one thing in common with the other people in the group. Alternatively, you may want to embrace the change in life and use it as an opportunity to try things you haven’t done before but always wanted to.
Often everyone around us seems to be celebrating the fact that we are entering a new chapter in life, while we are sitting with mixed emotions of anxiety, uncertainty, sadness, and excitement. It may be hard to talk to loved ones and friends about our negative feelings because we see that everyone else is excited for us and this can make us feel even more uncertain, as we second guess our anxiety or sadness. These feelings are normal, the starting of a new chapter in life means one is also ending.
Lastly, when we think about graduation make sure you take the time to celebrate what you have accomplished. We live in such a fast-paced world it can often seem like we are ticking off boxes on life's to-do list, moving on to the next task without acknowledging the hard work and dedication it took to get to this space.
You deserve the time to celebrate your life journey as it comes without worrying about what comes next.
If you find yourself experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety (sadness, hopelessness, lack of motivation, fatigue, overwhelm, excessive worry, intrusive thoughts, panic, to name a few) preventing you from completing or enjoying your daily activities please reach out to friends or family for support. Reaching out to a professional counsellor can also help, together you can explore goals, values, anxiety around the future, as well as how to manage stress and change, and imposter syndrome. You don’t have to navigate this change on your own.