How do you support someone who is struggling with substance use during a quarantine?
Amidst the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, we have been asked to make a number of adjustments to our everyday lives to ensure the wellbeing of our most vulnerable populations, like the elderly and those who are immunocompromised. However, many of the changes we’ve had to make have lead us to become more isolated and out of touch with the people, activities, and places that keep us both mentally, physically, and spiritually well.
While the adjustment to social distancing has been an adjustment for all, it has been especially difficult for another vulnerable population that is often overlooked: our loved ones who are in recovery from substance use.
It is often said that the opposite of addiction is connection
And during these uncertain times, many of those who are in recovery are struggling with feelings of disconnection.
So often being in recovery entails having a strong support network, going to meetings, talking to a counsellor, spending time with sober friends, etc. However, many of these resources are not accessible in the same way, with some of them only being available virtually or not available at all. For those of us who have loved ones in recovery in their lives, watching them struggle during this time can lead to our own struggles of feeling powerless, excessive worrying, increase in guilt, sadness, trying to exert control, among other feelings.
Because of this, it is crucial to support the recovery of our loved ones and take care of our own wellbeing too. Below are some suggestions on how to do that:
Learn about what addiction and recovery mean. There can be a lot of misinformation about what addiction is, what recovery is, and what it should look like. It’s important to recognize that recovery has no blueprint. It is individual. Here is a good start to have some foundational knowledge on addiction and recovery that is only five minutes long: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8AHODc6phg
Have open lines of communication with your loved one when it comes to recovery and substance use. Dialoguing about the challenges of substance use is important in recovery and it may be something that your loved one is missing.
Validate the feelings of your loved ones when it comes to the challenges of recovery during the pandemic. Not being able to keep up the things that keep one in recovery can feel demoralizing, like they’re failing, and becoming unmotivated. Letting your loved know that you hear and understand their feelings can sometimes help them reverse some of those negative feelings.
Offer encouragement and reminders on the way your loved one has adapted to the pandemic. This might include noticing how they have been open to virtual counselling, attending virtual recovery meetings, seeking out materials to engage with their recovery, reaching out to their support networks, being open with people in their lives about their new challenges, etc. This can help to provide hope.
Engage in novel activities and experiences with your loved one so that you can help deepen your connection. As previously mentioned, self-isolating and social distancing are leading to everyone feeling isolated and disconnected, so strengthening the connections that are available can be integral for loved ones to stay in recovery.
Try to engage in self-care alongside your loved one. Include one another in each other’s self-care activities if it allows. This can be a very healthy and supportive way to take care of yourself and to allow yourself to be part of your loved one’s recovery.
Keep hope alive for your loved one. All of the previous suggestions are essentially ways so that your loved one doesn’t feel helpless, hopeless, and alone. Use these as guiding principals as you support your loved one’s new recovery in the face of a pandemic.
On a final note, remember to take care of yourself through self-care, have boundaries with your loved one, and use your own support networks while you try to support your loved one’s recovery. It can be easy to assume total responsibility for someone else’s recovery - this ultimately may lead to burnout and resentment.
San Samra, RCC, has a particular interest and skill set in helping people who are struggling with addictions and supporting the people who support them. If you’d like help in this area, please reach out to us here, or book an appointment with him at https://vitalitycollective.janeapp.com.