Top 7 Things Your Therapist Wants You to Know

What your therapist in Surrey, Vancouver or Chilliwack wants you to know. Here’s what we’ve learned from sitting in the client’s chair ourselves.




Starting therapy in Surrey, Vancouver or  Chilliwack? Whether it's for the first time or with a new therapist, your initial sessions with a therapist can feel overwhelming or intimidating. You’re walking into a new space (even if it's an online space!), unsure of what to expect, and you’re about to share deeply personal details—things you might have never told even your closest friend. It’s completely natural to feel vulnerable and wonder what your therapist is thinking as you open up—or to struggle opening up at all. But it’s important to remember that your therapist is a professional with education and experience dedicated to listening without judgment and creating a safe space for you. And most importantly, your therapist understands and is proud you’ve taken this initial step on your mental health journey. 


Our Chilliwack, Surrey, and Vancouver therapists have personal therapy experience as a client and know what it’s like to start exactly where you are now: Unsure how to navigate your first session and feeling a little uncertain. In this guide, we will address common concerns those new to therapy may have, so you can feel confident, secure, and in control in your therapy sessions.



It's okay to not have all the answers.

In therapy, it's completely okay not to have all the answers right away—our therapists will also not have all the answers for you right away. Healing is a process—not a quick fix. Every individual’s mental health journey is different and therefore, takes on a different timeline. Whether your therapy sessions include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), somatic therapy, or another approach, understanding yourself takes time. 


As we explore your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, answers often come gradually, through reflection and insight. And that uncertainty you might feel can actually be really helpful—it creates space to explore new perspectives and uncover answers you hadn’t considered before. And here’s another secret: As therapists, we don’t have all the answers either. Our job is to get to know you, understand your concerns, guide you, offer support, and help you build tools to navigate your own path. Growth takes time, and even when you start to see things more clearly, change happens little by little. While the experience and expertise of your therapist is critical in the success of your therapy sessions, your motivation and commitment to the process are just as crucial.  





You're not being judged.

Sometimes during therapy sessions, we uncover intimate, vulnerable details about your life. You might feel that you’re being judged when you share these things, but let us assure you, your therapy appointment is a completely judgement-free zone. We want to create a space where you can be yourself, without worrying about criticism. Whatever you're feeling, thinking, or going through, it's all part of your story, and we're here to understand, not to judge. And truly, our team of therapists has decades and decades of experience, so trust us when we say, you aren’t alone in your struggles. We’ve likely worked with many others who have had similar feelings as you do; there is no need to “look good” in front of your therapist. 


Our Surrey, Vancouver, Chilliwack and online counsellors see each individual as a whole person—not defined by any one experience or struggle. Being open and vulnerable in therapy is actually a key component to your process. When you allow yourself to share what's really on your mind and in your heart, it helps us get to the core of the matter. It also helps you understand yourself better and lets us work together on what matters most. The more honest and vulnerable you can be, the deeper we can go, and the more room there is for growth. You’re free to express yourself fully, knowing you’ll always be met with empathy and understanding.





You are the expert on your life.

You are the expert on your life, and you’re in control of what’s right for you. While we’re here to offer support and guidance, no one knows you the way you do. That goes for the details you remember (or don’t) about past life experiences, your perception of events, or even how you experience feelings in your body. For example, only you understand how anxiety shows up for you—whether it’s that tight feeling in your chest, racing thoughts, or the overwhelming sense of dread. You also know how grief feels for you, how it might hit you unexpectedly or how certain memories or places can bring it all rushing back. When you’re navigating relationship struggles, you’re the one who knows how you interpret the dynamics—what triggers you, how you react, and what you need to feel heard. 


In therapy we work as a team, but your experience is what matters most—and it reveals important details that help guide your sessions. You get to decide what feels right for you—what goals you want to set, what changes you want to make, and what steps feel true to you. You are the one in charge of your mental health journey, and we’re here to walk beside you, offering support as you figure out what feels right.





Progress isn’t always linear.

This saying may sound overused, but it’s true! Progress isn’t always linear, and that’s completely okay. Healing and personal growth take time, and there will be moments where you feel like you’re moving forward, only to encounter a setback or feel stuck again. This doesn’t mean you’re not making progress—it’s just part of the process. For example, you might make great strides in managing anxiety one week, only to find it creeping back in the next. Or you might feel like you’ve made peace with a past trauma, only to have it resurface unexpectedly. These ups and downs are normal and often part of what it takes to reach a version of healing that feels right for you. Growth doesn’t always happen in a straight line; you may run into challenges again and again. But each time, you’ll approach them from a new place of understanding, with new skills to manage them. Be patient with yourself during the tough moments. Every step, even the ones that feel like setbacks, is still part of bettering your mental health. There is no “graduation” of therapy. At Vitality Collective, our counsellors in Surrey, Vancouver or Chilliwack, believe therapy is for everyone, and that is not limited to a certain time frame of one’s life.  




You deserve to take care of yourself.

Many people carry the weight of responsibility for others—whether it’s caring for family, managing work, or trying to meet everyone else’s needs. Sometimes, this sense of responsibility can stem from past trauma, stress, or life transitions, and it can make it hard to prioritize yourself. But therapy is your time to focus on you, to give yourself the care and attention you may have been neglecting. It’s not selfish to take a step back and check in with your own needs. In fact, it’s essential. Our Surrey, Vancouver and Chilliwack counselling clinics are also dedicated to helping make therapy more accessible through guidance on insurance and direct billing for our BC clinical counsellors

Our work together doesn’t stop at the therapy door. We’re here to help you develop strategies to take better care of yourself outside of our sessions, too. Whether it’s learning how to set boundaries, finding time for rest, or discovering what nourishes you emotionally and physically, therapy can help you build healthier habits that you can carry into your everyday life. You deserve to show up for yourself, and we’re here to support you in creating the tools to make that happen, both in and outside of our time together. 




Your emotions are valid.

This can be a tough one for many people, especially in our society that places value on more “positive” emotions. Your emotions are valid, no matter how confusing, overwhelming, or unexpected they may seem. It's easy to feel like certain emotions—like anger, sadness, or fear—aren’t "acceptable" or that we should push them aside. But all emotions, even the tough ones, are part of being human. How you feel in any given moment is real, and it’s important to acknowledge those feelings rather than ignore or suppress them. Whether you're dealing with grief, anxiety, frustration, or joy, those emotions are there for a reason. They tell your therapist something important about your needs, boundaries, or experiences. In therapy, there’s no need to apologize for how you feel. We’re here to listen to and understand your emotions, not judge them. The goal isn’t to "fix" your feelings but to explore them, understand them, and learn how to cope with them in healthier ways. Your emotions are an important part of your story, and they deserve to be acknowledged and respected.

Therapy is about collaboration.

Your therapy sessions are something we do together as a team, with you in the driver’s seat. As your therapist, we see our role as collaborators, not as people telling you what to do. We’re here to listen, understand what you’re going through, and work alongside you to figure out the best way forward. Your therapist brings different tools and approaches to the table, like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help shift negative thought patterns or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to help you manage emotions. But we know that what works for one person might not work for another, and that’s okay. It’s about finding what feels right for you. You bring your own unique experiences, values, and goals to the process, and we’re here to support you in a way that feels authentic and helpful. If one approach doesn’t quite fit, we’ll adjust and try something different, or even mix things up to see what works best for you. But to determine the best therapy methods for you, it’s so important that you feel confident and safe giving your therapist feedback on your experience—what’s working and what isn’t—so that they can continue creating the right treatment plan for your needs. 

It’s okay to let your counsellor know if they misinterpreted what you said or provide clarification if you don’t believe they understand how you feel. It’s also okay to let them know that you aren’t ready to talk about certain subjects yet or if you prefer working on different goals instead. The key is keeping lines of communication completely open so you get what you need out of the sessions. Our collective of therapists in Surrey, Vancouver and Chilliwack believe in a best-match approach to clinical counselling. If you feel the counsellor you’ve been matched with is not the right fit, we encourage you to let us know so we can find the perfect match for you.


Therapy in Surrey, Vancouver and Chilliwack at Vitality Collective

Booking your first therapy session can come with a lot of questions and uncertainty. But what your therapist wants you to know more than anything else is that your therapy appointments are a safe, judgement-free space where you can share your thoughts and feelings. At Vitality Collective, we’re here to help you create lasting change for a more fulfilling life. To book your first therapy appointment in Vancouver, Surrey, Chilliwack, or virtual, please complete our New Client Inquiry Form. For all other inquiries, please do not hesitate to email us at info@vitalitycollective.ca




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Therapists, Counsellors and Psychologists in Chilliwack, BC