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How would your life change if you genuinely accepted yourself just as you are? 

I (Cassandra Santlal) recently listened to the audiobook Radical Self-Acceptance by Tara Brach.  Throughout this book, Tara uses down to earth, compassionate, wise and calming strategies to guide listeners to accept their reality with mindfulness, rather than avoid it or try to compensate for it.  It is a book that can be read or listened to over and over and you can still benefit from reminders to use radical acceptance and recognize the areas of your inner being that lead to self-doubt and shame.  I recommend listening to the audiobook as it provides the tone and intended nuances that give the words more power and meaning.

The sense of shame and being less than what we expect or what others expect is so prominent in today’s world.  The feeling of deficiency leads to pain, lack of ability to be intimate, we experience feelings of defeat, anger, rage, fear and worthlessness.  We are often quick to judge and be hard on ourselves.  The deep pain of self-aversion and shame causes us to lash out or retreat in order to cover it up.

But how would your world and your space in this world change if you accepted yourself, with your fears, failures, painful thoughts and neediness.  This doesn’t mean you can’t strive for bigger and better things.  But to accept your struggles along the way and then learn how to focus on them with radical acceptance and love.   To pay attention to what causes you feelings of shame, rather than avoid it.  To be without anxiety about imperfection as an individual, parent, sibling, child, co-worker or friend.

This is a book that is life-changing and powerful for anyone, at any point in their life.  I am a therapist and I find the book useful and helpful in my own life and recommend it to both colleagues and individuals that I provide counselling services to.

Tara Brach teaches skills to take the time and care to slow down and be kind to yourself.  She teaches the listener to recognize and relate to the suffering with love and compassion, which is the start of the path to freedom.  To embrace the parts of life that you work to avoid or exclude.  She guides the listener through different, short meditations to aid in healing the deep wounds.  A journey to wholeness, rather than perfection.

Throughout the book, Tara Brach refers to “following the Buddhist path” or other references to Buddhism.  As a listener who does not follow Buddhism, I did not feel a pressure to alter my way of thinking or my beliefs.  I also did not feel like there was an over-abundance of references to Buddhism.  That is one of the many belief systems in which we strive to find peace, love, understanding, self-acceptance, rest, intimacy and a sacred space.  So I would recommend an approach of listening to the book without judgment, but trying to hear and experience the intent of the words while learning new skills for caring for yourself.

Thank you to Cassandra Santlal for providing this review of Radical Self-Acceptance by Tara Brach. Cassandra works out of the offices at Vitality Collective on Monday afternoons. To learn more about her, click on her name above. If you are interested in booking a free 15-minute phone consultation with her, you can click here.