The Bicultural Dilemma

JYOTI GILL, MA, RCC, VITALITY COLLECTIVE

SURRY THERAPIST & REGISTERED CLINICAL COUNSELLOR

There’s no bigger divide than values on opposite ends of a spectrum.

Most spiritual traditions call this ‘duality’, and encourage people to rise above the duality -  to see the world not simply in black or white, light or dark, happy or sad, but instead as a synthesis of the two. If people are able to live non-dualistically, they are more likely to coexist; for example, conservatives and liberals, vaxxers and anti-vaxxers, religious folk and atheists, can all be friends. But what happens when the divide in values is internal - within oneself? This is often the case for bicultural people – individuals who have two different cultural identities. I often see clients who are navigating the gulf between their Eastern and Western values, often these are children of immigrants who have come to Canada and often are first or second-generation Canadians. These Eastern values have been a part of their family culture for generations, and are generally transmitted to future generations. 

While most ‘biculturals’ will agree that having two distinct cultures can be enriching, they will also tell you how challenging bridging the gap between the values can be. Often, they find themselves at a crossroads, feeling the need to choose one cultural value over another. When a client brings two vastly different cultures into counselling, it is imperative that the counsellor be aware of the delicacy with which they must help the client navigate the cultural divide. Often the prioritizing of one cultural value over another causes a conflict for the individual, externally within relationships, or internally within oneself. When the conflict is external, the individual may feel like they are betraying one of their cultures, and thusly betraying their loved ones; when it is internal, they often feel like they are betraying themselves.

While there is no simple solution to this dilemma, people often find relief in simply being seen as a whole, with different and sometimes contradictory cultural values; to be truly seen for all that they are without being reduced to one cultural value or identity. Sometimes the individual will choose one value over another, and sometimes they will find a way to meet the demands of each value with some negotiation. The route one chooses is always unique to the individual. The counsellor’s role can be to hold the space for this client to confront this dilemma as they come to a decision around what’s best for them. 

Society can be quite reductionist, in the sense that we are encouraged to make sense of the world by using labels, stereotypes, or generalizations. This is also an adaptive strategy for humans as we tend to have a low tolerance for uncertainty and ambiguity. In doing so, however, we come up against the aforementioned cultural divide. If we are to understand the contradictions that exist in the world, we have to understand the contradictions that exist within us and learn to build a tolerance for the polarization that often is a result of being a person with different cultural values.