The 4 Types of Survival Responses
SUE NOBLE, RCC, VITALITY COLLECTIVE
SURRY THERAPIST & REGISTERED CLINICAL COUNSELLOR
I want to discuss the survival responses that are so often talked about. I’m not sure everyone understands what it refers to and how it affects us in the short term and potentially the long term.
When we become overwhelmed with stress, anxiety and/or emotion we revert to our basic survival responses. This means that we move from our parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest) to our sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight). Our autonomic nervous system – that part of us that reacts automatically, without conscious intent – is made of these two branches (among others, that I won’t discuss here for the sake of simplicity).
So often we think there are only two automatic responses but there are actually four (4). The first two most identified responses are Fight and Flight. When responding with fight we tend to argue, verbally or physically, and defend our position. If we respond with flight, we will run away, and/or avoid confrontation or conflict. However, the other two responses are often missed. Freezing is also a sympathetic response. I often refer to this stance as the deer in the headlight’s response. Lastly is the Fawn response. This is when you try to figure out what the other person wants and behave in a way you think is appealing to the other. REMEMBER, all these responses are attempts to keep you SAFE (real or perceived)!
Most of us have one or two that are more common to us. Can you identify how you typically react using the examples listed below?
Fight
Crying
feelings of anger
fists balled up and feeling tense
tight jaw, stomach clenching in knots and possible nausea
wanting to argue and push back
raising your voice quickly and full of frustration
going towards the source of “danger” to attack it etc
Flight
restless legs and feet
feeling fidgety
feeling tense
feeling trapped
feeling like you can’t quite catch your breath
wanting to get out of the situation away from the “danger” as quick as possible and not be overwhelmed by it
wanting to get away so you can think and breathe etc.
Freeze
feeling unable to speak
feeling cold
feeling your body as being stiff and unresponsive also heavy
pale skin
feeling of entrapment
strong sense of dread
not running away from or towards the “danger” but unable to act
feeling depressed
Fawn
people pleasing
feeling very negative towards yourself
judging yourself harshly
difficulty standing up for yourself
unable to say no to requests or asks of you
scanning your environment to ensure everyone around you is safe to be around
repressing your own needs to keep the “danger” away and keep it/them happy to keep you safe etc.
Hopefully, you’ve been able to identify a couple of responses that are more common to you. If so, the next time you realize you are responding using a survival response, take note of what is happening around you and what you may have been perceiving as a danger to evoke your response. This may be obvious, or it may not, but it is good information to acquire and awareness to develop to understand yourself better. If this sounds like something that occurs often for you, working with a therapist can help make sense of your reactions. Your counsellor can provide suggestions to help you use your insights to better manage your reactions. This does take time. Awareness may provide insight but changing a behaviour, an automatic reaction can take time.
One way to support change in activating situations is to discharge that energy. Do something that gets your cardio going, play tennis, go for a run, get out for a hike, do jumping jacks or anything that works for you. After that’s done, please don’t forget to stretch and ground yourself. Once you’ve discharged all that energy, you’ll need to ground yourself to feel safe.
Short-term habituated reactions (survival responses) can cause relationship issues, provoke shame and guilt within, or leave you feeling unresolved. To resolve the responses (that are problematic to you) finding out why, and establishing their origins, can be helpful. Where did they come from? Were they modelled for you? Are they considered normal or abnormal? Are you criticized for them? Exploring the roots of your habituated or maladaptive reactions has the potential to offer a lasting change in your survival response and your experience of feeling safe.
Resources
Differences Between Sympathetic And Parasympathetic Nervous System (byjus.com)