The hard truth is, many individuals suffer in silence after childbirth, unaware that their childbirth experience can be viewed as traumatic. Birth trauma can come from adverse physical experiences, mental and emotional experiences, and interpersonal experiences. No one can label your experience other than you.

This Fall has been challenging for many students returning to school – school looks different. Different is hard for anyone, different is unknown. For children, this often can be scarier than for adults; for children with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) even more so.

2020 has been quite the year, especially as a parent, who plays multiple roles. Having children at home can be quite the struggle, there was a time when as parents, we would have a routine, and life seemed ok, but now we are adjusting to life at home, school at home, art class at home, and movie nights at home.

What many of us don’t realize is that our children are the world’s best lie detectors. They know that we are stressed. Moreover, when we try to hide our feelings from our children, what we are telling them is that emotions are not okay. In our efforts to protect and care for our children, hoping to protect them from anxiety and fear, we have actually suppressed our emotions and told them to do the same.

Being a parent is one of the toughest roles we play in life, and when our teenagers are struggling, we can feel confused, helpless, and overwhelmed when we don’t know how to help. Here are some ways that you can help.

If emotional intelligence is so important, why don’t we talk about it with children?  In today’s society, we ask each other ‘how are you?’ and the response is almost always ‘fine’.  Fine is not an emotion; fine does not express anything; fine is a cover-up.  We try to protect our children from our negative emotions most of the time.  The problem with this is that children are the best emotional antennas, they can sense when their parents are not happy.  Not hiding emotions doesn’t mean we dump all our concerns on our children all the worries of being an adult and parent; it does mean that we can share in a controlled way.

This article is inspired by a podcast that really opened Inder’s eyes to a concept she was just living with as a norm—and maybe because it is.  The episode is called “Emotional Labor is Labor!” from the podcast Stuff Mom Never Told You, hosted by Anney Reese and Bridget Todd. 

So, what exactly is emotional labour? It consists of work historically done by women, in various personal and professional settings, that comprises of things like actively listening to people vent, scheduling, remembering important dates, planning social events, coming up with gifts or tokens of appreciation, and just being aware of others’ emotions on top of their own. 

Is your child experiencing anxiety? The first place to start helping them is to help yourself.