Common themes I encounter in practice are people’s desire to figure out where their anxiety is coming from, why do they behave in certain ways in situations, or why are they feeling stuck when everything seems like it should be okay? I believe that at least part of the answers come from our values. People (me included) do not think about their values actively throughout the day. They may come up in important moments in life (choosing a partner, looking for a new job, attending school) but for the most part, they sit in our subconscious silently guiding us through life.

I’m noting a real trend in my clients, my friends, and myself these days … Many of us are running on empty. We’re used up, burned out, and trying to figure out what’s wrong. Burnout is more than being “stressed out” and isn’t remedied by doing more “self-care.” In fact, putting more on your plate can exacerbate burnout. So how do we deal with burnout?

It seems like I blinked and suddenly my little children are not so little anymore. They are more independent and capable of taking care of themselves. They can read to themselves, dress, do chores, and make their own food (although it likely won’t contain all the food groups). They have a new sense of independence and need for social connections. Does this sound familiar to you?

Relationships can be the source of joy and happiness in our lives, but sometimes they can also bring conflicts and negative feelings. When we are in a conversation with someone and we notice the first signs of anger, it is a good idea to follow some guidelines to avoid a heated argument that probably won’t solve anything.

January is upon us and it is often the time to set New Year resolutions.

Chances are you have set resolutions in the past and not been successful - I know I have. New years resolutions are notoriously hard to follow through for multiple reasons. The good news is achieving our goals can start with a shift in how we are thinking about them and the way we talk to ourselves about our goals.

Body image is the perception we have of our own bodies. This includes the mental image we have of ourselves, thoughts and beliefs about our bodies, feelings about our appearance, as well as behaviours that impact our bodies.

Have you ever felt such a BIG emotion that it completely overwhelmed you? Has anxiety ever gotten so loud, it’s hard to function? If yes, you are not alone.

Our language choices have a powerful effect on how we view mental health and people living with mental health conditions. It is not surprising that mental health, which has been systematically stigmatized for so many decades, has historically settled for a discriminatory vocabulary. People have grown up in generations after generations that use terms to describe people with mental health issues as being perfectly normal. Here are a few examples: crazy, nuts, psycho, hoarder, paranoid, manipulative, and loony, the list goes on

Maybe you were feeling okay, and then all of sudden your body is flooded with uncomfortable sensations? Maybe to others, it was something they could brush off, but to you, it felt like you were overtaken by anger or even anxiety. Perhaps you were swarmed by anxious throughs and worries? Often feeling confused and defeated by the intensity of your emotional reaction.

Flipping the lid occurs when your amygdala starts sounding the alarms, putting pressure on your thumb and the fight or flight response is activated, pushing open your pre-frontal cortex fingers. Remember, the cortex is where your thinking happens, so when you flip your lid, your thinking goes out the window. When this happens, you lose your balance and reasoning and react in extreme ways as a result of your emotions.

Let’s be real, life isn’t easy. During tough times, it’s extremely difficult to feel in control of your emotions and feelings. What can you do if you’re feeling this way you ask? DBT! Learn more….

Asking traumatized clients to work through memories early on in therapy, is similar to asking the sprinter with the broken leg to run when they cannot even stand. Sharing traumatic experiences can leave individuals vulnerable to becoming dysregulated and at times re-traumatized. Trauma memories should not be addressed before the individual is equipped to manage the distress. Babette Rothschild, author of ‘The Body Remembers’ uses the analogy of teaching a new driver to be really comfortable with the “braking” system in a car before “accelerating.”

The holiday season is here and it’s a stressful time for many in which people find themselves needing to recover afterward.

And while this time of year can bring about lots of fun, laughter, quality time, and of course those classic cheesy Christmas movies, it can also bring up a plethora of emotions from positive to negative, and everything in-between.

During the 20th century, research about stress and its effects on humans grew exponentially, and two approaches were developed: the first one focused on the body’s response to stress, while the second one had a psychosocial take on it.

Having low self-esteem can impact relationships, work or home life, body image, and mental health. Read on to find out what it means and what you can do about it.

Self-criticism most often originates from early experiences with caregivers or peers. For
example, growing up experiencing abuse or in an environment of high criticism can result in
someone being highly self-critical later in life. Self-criticism is a survival strategy that develops
to keep us safe. This self-critical part begins to self-correct, looking for any mistakes and
potential failures to avoid being criticized by others.

The first year is often the hardest experiencing holidays, birthdays, and weddings etc., for the first time, often in years, without their coping mechanism while still trying to learn new ways to cope. Below are a few ways you can support yourself if you are in recovery as well as some ways other people can be supportive of those they know or don’t know who may be in recovery or choosing not to use alcohol or other substances this holiday season.

For the past almost 2 years we have been living in a constantly changing and unknown world. From masks to no masks and back to masks again; From going to the office daily to working from home to splitting our work time from home and the office; Home schooling to online school to classrooms. We have now reached the point where we are back to as close to “normal” as we have been.

In the IFS model, which is supported by modern neuropsychological research, the psyche is considered to be a complex system of interactive parts, where each part has a positive intention and value, and gets activated at different times. The different parts have agendas of their own, and their roles and strategy for helping or coping may not necessarily be the best, as they may distort the present based on experiences in the past.

“Parts Work” is a common phrase in Internal Family Systems therapy which is an evidence-based modality utilizing modern research and neurophysiology to understand our complex personality structures and sense of self.